Relationships aren’t easy; they’re actually hard work! But they should feel like they are worth all of the hard work that you put into them. Being in a relationship is a good thing – if it’s a healthy relationship! It’s proven to help people live better quality lives, live longer, and be happier in general.
One thing you have to remember is this: NO relationship is perfect. Mine isn’t, but mine IS happy and healthy. I’m not a marriage counselor or a relationship guru, but I know what things seem like healthy relationship habits and what things seem like warning signs to get the heck out of the relationship.
I’ve been with my husband for 5 years now (married for 1) and our relationship is both comfortable and exciting. I’ve also been in abusive, manipulative, and unhealthy relationships.
Another thing to remember is that every relationship is different and we all have different relationship standards. We have unique qualities that we’re looking for in partners and we each have our own “deal-breakers.”
But to me, these are the signs that a relationship is healthy and happy:
1- You aren’t afraid to say what’s on your mind.
You don’t hold things back or avoid talking about certain things. In a relationship, it’s important to be able to say what you are feeling or thinking directly. You should be able to express yourself honestly without being judged, and no topic should be off-limits. Communication is one of the most important aspects of a relationship, and it’s vital to the health of a relationship.
2- You can fight and know that it won’t end your relationship.
Arguments are a normal and even healthy part of a relationship. You should be able to argue and know that the argument doesn’t mean the end of your relationship, it’s just a bump in the road. Make sure that if you are fighting, it’s being done productively and not harshly. Don’t try to be mean to your partner or put them down on purpose. Arguments should be about trying to find common ground and compromise. Too much fighting isn’t healthy though! You should get along more than you argue.
3- You make decisions together.
You don’t make all of the decisions, and neither does your partner. You listen to each other’s opinions and make decisions jointly – especially on the major things in life. Both of you should be able to respect each other’s opinions enough to listen to what the other person has to say, and understand that things can’t be done your way ALL the time.
4- There is mutual trust between the both of you.
Healthy relationships should be built on mutual trust. You should be committed to openly discussing anything and everything; no lying and no secrets. You shouldn’t always have one foot out the door, ready to run away because you just KNOW that they’re hiding something. If you really love your partner, you should try to have complete trust in them and know that they always have your best interest in mind.
5- Your relationship is a safe place to you.
A healthy relationship should be a safe place for both partners. It should be the place where you want to go when you’ve had a rough day, or something tragic has happened. You should be able to turn to your partner when you need comfort or need someone to just be there for you. Your partner should be your rock.
6- You and your partner encourage each other.
It’s important that you understand and support your partner’s goals – and vice versa. You don’t undermine them out of jealousy or any other negative emotion. Both of you just want the best for each other, and you encourage each other to grow and change positively. Just because you both have different goals doesn’t mean you can’t still be happy together, and grow together.
7- You know how to let the little things go.
Everyone makes mistakes, and you both understand that. You know that you are both bound to screw up once in a while or get on each other’s nerves. And that’s okay. You don’t hold grudges against each other, or pick fights over little things. You learn to let things go and just focus more on the positive aspects that each of you has.
8- You accept each other’s faults and imperfections.
We all have flaws – nobody is perfect! You don’t always try to convince each other that you are. It’s healthy to be completely comfortable with each other, and let your guard down. So, you look different without makeup, you snore while you sleep, you have panic attacks – no matter what the imperfection is, and no matter how big or small, you’re open about it. But you both accept each other how you are and love each other anyway.
9- You are friends as well as lovers.
It’s a great thing to see your significant other as your friend as well as your partner. You both genuinely LIKE each other. You truly enjoy each other’s company and you like doing things together. If in some other universe you weren’t in a relationship with this person, you could honestly still be best friends with them. But at the same time, you also give each other your space to be independent.
10- Your relationship gets stronger and stronger.
You notice that as time passes, your relationship keeps getting stronger. This shows that you are growing together, both as people and as a relationship. To me, this is one of the ultimate signs that your relationship is built to last through the good times and the bad.
What are things that you believe are signs of a healthy relationship?