“If only. Those must be the two saddest words in the world.” ― Mercedes Lackey
Do you have any regrets from your past? I’m sure that all of us do, to some degree. Whether they’re big soul-crushing regrets, or small “wish I would’ve done this” regrets.
Even Steve Jobs, in a final interview, said that he regretted that he hadn’t been as close to his children as he wished he was.
A lot of times, we hold things against ourselves far longer and beat ourselves up far more than the people we hurt do. Along the same lines, we often forgive others more easily than we forgive ourselves.
Some people try to go through life with a “no regrets” attitude, and that’s a lovely thought. But sadly, there’s no such thing as a life with absolutely no regrets.
There are a few things in life that I regret, and I’m only 23 years old. Most of what I regret comes from how I behaved and treated people during my teenage years.
And while there are no ways to go through life without regret, there are ways to deal with your feelings of regret and try to overcome them!Here are 4 tips from @inspire_ox about dealing with feelings of regret! Click To Tweet
– Try to understand where your regret is coming from.
A lot of times with regret, we wonder “why” we did (or didn’t do) the thing(s) that we regret. To eventually overcome this feeling, it’s important to try to understand it. So write down the regret and write down any questions you’re constantly asking yourself about it.
For example, let’s say you regret letting a guy go. You keep asking yourself “Why would I break up with him?” so write it down. Try to work through it, journal about it, try to answer the questions and try to learn from what you did wrong. It’s great to be able to turn a regret into a learning experience.
– Realize that things might not have worked out anyway.
Thinking about how things “might have been” if you did or didn’t do the thing you regret is sort of useless. You don’t know if life would’ve been any better if things had gone differently.
For example, let’s say you regret not moving away with someone who you love. If you had moved away with them, who knows what would’ve happened? Things might have been worse than they are now.
That’s why living in the past, or living with regret, is pointless. You should realize that the only way to live is in the present moment. “What ifs” are just wishful thinking.
– Take action to let go of the regret.
If you understand the regret and you know what’s causing it, take action to let it go. Instead of continuing to live in the past and let the regret cause suffering, actively try to move on.
Is there something you could do in order to let it go? Is there some sort of support that you could get? Is there someone you could talk to, apologize to, etc. in order to let it go?
– Truly forgive yourself for the regret.
This is the most important thing! I’m guessing you regret something that you feel you did wrong. But you need to stop holding it against yourself. What does holding it against yourself do to help the situation?
Remind yourself that we all have regrets, we all make mistakes, we’ve all done the wrong thing before. We’re all human and the only thing we can do is learn from what we did wrong and make sure not to make that mistake again.
The fact that you feel regret shows that you care, and that’s a good thing. Sometimes that’s all that we can do. So forgive yourself and try to move on.
Here’s an amazing article from Tiny Buddha about dealing with regret.
Do you struggle with feelings of regret or have any tips for dealing with them?