This is a pretty personal post for me, which is sorta scary. It’s about something that I’ve been struggling with a lot lately, so I thought that now was a good time to talk about it here on the blog. In case any of you are struggling with it too. 🙂
We all have fears in life. I bet that one of the fears that most of us have is fear of failure or rejection. There are things that we want to try, things that we want to do. But what if we fail?
I took a big risk a while back – well, it was big to me anyway. I launched this blog back in March. Starting it was completely nerve-wrecking for me. Yes, nerve-wrecking. It wrecked my nerves! For a few reasons:
- I’m a pretty timid/shy/self-conscious person by nature. I’m a complete goofball once you get to know me, but I have social anxiety when talking to strangers, so putting myself *out there* on the internet is freaking scary. But you know what? If people don’t like what I write, they don’t have to read it.
- I was – and still am – scared that people will judge me or put me down for having a blog. I know it might be silly, but it’s a fear of mine. Luckily everyone who knows about it thus far has been completely supportive! And if people aren’t supportive, that’s their problem because it’s my life.
And what if I fail? Or no one likes what I have to say? What if in a few years blogging isn’t a “thing” anymore? What if I get stuck and can’t move forward? Or people who do like what I have to say move on or get bored with me?
I started this blog because I’ve always wanted to help women. I – like a lot of us ladies – have went through a lot of B.S. and hard times in my life, and I want to help those who are going through them now. And I’ve also always had a love for writing, so this blog is the perfect outlet for those passions.
The fear of failure is always nagging away at the back of my mind, though. And sometimes it just sucks. But I voiced my fears to my husband recently and he told me something that always sticks with me.
“You know what’s scarier than failing? Always wondering what could’ve happened.”What's scarier than failing is always wondering what could've happened, and living with regret. Click To Tweet
Life is short. I know it’s cliche, but it’s true. You can’t sit around and wait for life to happen to you. You’ve got to go out there and make things happen to your life!
So you’ve got to learn to deal with your fear, instead of letting it control you. That’s what I’m doing – or trying to do. So here are some tips that I’m learning, to help you deal with it:
Regret is scarier than fear.
Failure isn’t the opposite of success; I believe that regret is. If you try something and fail, at least you know you tried. You did your best, and that’s all that we can expect from ourselves and anyone else. We’re only human, and every human fails at things sometimes. But living with regret? Regret can eat away at you, and regret is something that you can avoid.
You never know unless you try. Instead of asking yourself “what if I fail?” ask yourself “what if I succeed?” What if you decide not to try, when you would’ve excelled at whatever you’re scared of?Instead of asking yourself 'what if I fail?' ask yourself 'what if I succeed?' Click To Tweet
Remember that failure is temporary.
I know that when you fail at something, it feels like it’s the end of the world. But it isn’t! You fail, you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, learn something from it, and move on. Try again, or try something else.
You probably know this already, but J.K. Rowling, Oprah Winfrey, Marilyn Monroe, and many other awesome and powerful women failed multiple times before they became who they are. They probably feared failure just like you and I, but they pushed forward anyway. We can do the same!
Get some sort of support system.
Having encouraging people, or even 1 encouraging person, behind us makes failure less scary. It keeps our spirits high and it helps us move forward. So talk to someone about your fear and let them lift your spirits. Keep them around and talk to them whenever you’re feeling scared or nervous about what you’re doing.
I’ve had a few readers email me out of the blue when they needed encouragement or support, from things like starting a blog to dealing with a breakup. And that makes my day! That’s what I’m here for – to try to help you. So if you truly think you have no one to turn to, there’s a “contact” button at the top of this blog and you can click it anytime. 🙂
Slow down and take it easy.
When you’re facing something new, scary, and unknown, jumping in head first can overwhelm you even more. So if you’re trying something you’ve never done before, take things slow. Work through things at your own pace.
Try to break down whatever you’re doing into smaller chunks and do them one at a time. It’s good to step out of your comfort zone and try new things! But if you’re scared and you rush into something or push yourself too far, that will just make things worse.
Take action and do what scares you.
Once you’ve built yourself up a little bit and gotten your motivation, take action! Set yourself goals or give yourself the steps you need to take to do whatever the hell it is that scares you.
Feeling scared but doing what scares you anyway is an awesome thing. If you succeed, you’ll be that much more proud of yourself for overcoming your fear. And if you fail, you’ll still feel some sort of pride. Because you faced your fears and you (hopefully) learned something from it – and that’s still a good thing!
Bottom line: We all have fears, and we all fail sometimes. What’s important is finding the courage to try new things, face your fears, and take every opportunity you can to go after what you want! I hope that this encouraged or helped you in some way. 🙂
Question: How do you deal with fear of failure??