You don’t need me to tell you how busy life can get nowadays. Many couples are always on the go – whether it’s work, kids, hobbies, friends, family, church, community, and/or other obligations. Things can get hectic, for sure!
This hectic lifestyle can easily affect the intimacy that we feel with our significant others. And I’m not talking about physical intimacy – I’m talking about emotional intimacy. Without emotional intimacy, we can feel disconnected. We can lose the closeness that we look for in romantic relationships.
When we’re constantly on the go, constantly busy with everything other than our spouse or partner, it can cause us to drift apart. This can end up causing fights, petty arguments, and feelings of apathy, among other problems. And there are other things in the modern world that can make things worse, so it just turns into a vicious cycle.
If you want more happiness and depth to your relationship with your spouse, you obviously need to find ways to connect with them. And when the relationship isn’t “new” it can be trickier to find ways to connect.4 tips for connecting with your significant other! #love Click To Tweet
So here are 4 tips for connecting with your spouse or significant other:
Intentionally schedule time together.
I know that when you hear how important it is to spend quality time with your spouse, you probably think “When? There is no time!” But remember that there’s always time for what’s important to you. If you have to, sit down once a month and sync your calendars. Write down the day(s) that you can spend one-on-one time together and make it a non-negotiable part of your schedule. Treat your time together as if it’s a super important work meeting that you just cannot miss. You can’t connect with your partner if you guys never have time for each other.
Spend time together unplugged.
We live in a world full of technology, which I sorta love and hate at the same time. While there are ways to bond with your partner involving technology, like playing video games together or having movie marathons, nothing beats good old-fashioned quality time without screens. Make it a point to regularly spend time together without phones, tablets, laptops, TV’s, etc. It’s refreshing to spend some time solely focused on your partner and the distraction-free conversations that come along with it. Consider activities like exercising together, reading a book together, going for a walk, or just connecting by talking.
Engage them in one of their favorite discussions.
If you’re choosing to connect with your partner by having regular conversation time, this one’s for you. One fantastic way to create a connection with your spouse is to start a conversation with them about one of their favorite topics. If your man likes to play video games, ask him about a new one coming out that he has his eye on. If your woman loves to read, ask her about her favorite book or whether her favorite author is working on anything. Notice how excited they get when they’re talking about this topic – it’ll definitely brighten your day. And it’ll brighten their day because they’ll love that you’re interested in what they like.
Just don’t have super high expectations.
One thing that I feel affects relationships is the message we get in books, movies, TV shows, and songs. Sure, those relationships look pretty dang great. The guy is always super-duper sensitive and thoughtful and observant and puts on grand romantic gestures all the time and he’s just pretty much perfect in every way. But the same way that we want guys to realize that not all girls look like Victoria’s Secret models, we need to accept that not all guys act like Nicholas Sparks characters! 😉
That doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. Don’t have super high expectations of what emotional connection is “supposed” to be. For some people, connection might mean something grand and romantic sometimes. For other couples, that’s not realistic. Some guys aren’t creative when it comes to romance. Some guys just really don’t think about the little things and it’s not their fault. And some couples are just crazy-busy with jobs, kids, communities, among other things. Connection might simply mean being able to actually spend time alone together for an hour a day while their children are taking a nap. And that’s perfectly okay! Connection is connection.
Related reading: 12 “Thirty Second” Ways to Connect With Your Spouse
Question: What’s your favorite way to connect with your partner?