If you really want to take control and own your life, you’ve gotta be at least somewhat independent. Being able to be independent will help you live a much happier life. It will give you a great sense of freedom and allow you to do what you want to do, without caring what others think.You will feel so much happier when you learn to take your life into your own hands! Click To Tweet
You will feel so much happier when you learn to take your life into your own hands! You won’t have to count on others to do things for you, count on others to make you happy. The feeling of knowing that you can count on yourself and you don’t have to rely on other people for everything is great.
Far too many of us really couldn’t be happy if we were left to be alone in life. We would feel lost, insecure, sad, and/or incapable of handling life on our own. I’m not saying we shouldn’t lean on our spouse, friends, or family members occasionally or that we should be alone. I’m just saying that it’s great to be able to know that we can go it alone if we needed to.
Becoming more independent will allow you to be more self-assured. Plus, it’s great to know that you don’t need to rely on anyone else to provide for you, make you happy, or help you. You’ll know that when it comes down to it, you’re all that you need.
Here are some ways that you can become more independent:
– Think about who you really are.
A lot of people don’t even know who they really are or what they stand for. But if you want to take control of your life, you need to know what your values and priorities are. Once you know what they are, you’ll get a better sense of who you are and what you want. And once you know that, it’ll be so much easier to be independent.
Action step: Read this post (from Simply + Fiercely) about defining core values to help you figure out what your core values are.
– Learn to accept yourself.
You can’t be independent or own your life if you don’t accept yourself. You’ve gotta learn to accept your looks, your body, your values – everything about yourself. Cut out the negative self-talk and learn to love yourself. This way, you’ll be able to make decisions and do what makes you happy without worrying about what other people say or think.
– Set yourself some goals.
After you’ve got a better sense of who you are and you learn to accept yourself, you should try to set some goals for yourself. What do you want to do with your life? What are you trying to accomplish? If you don’t usually set goals, you might want to start with just a few so you don’t overwhelm yourself and/or give up. Working towards goals is an important and rewarding part of owning your life and becoming successful.
Action step: Think about what you really want in life; what you want to achieve, what would make you happy, etc. Grab a sheet of paper (or start keeping a goals journal!) and write down everything that comes to mind. Then look at the paper and circle 3-5 things that you want to work towards achieving right now. Now write down a timeline and actionable steps that you can take to achieve each of the goals. This will give you something to work towards – something that will make you happy!
You might like: 11 Helpful Strategies to Reach Your Goals
– Make your own decisions.
A lot of people (myself included) have a problem with making big decisions for themselves. It’s nice to have input from family or friends when it comes to some decisions, but if you want to own your life, you should try to make most of your decisions by yourself. Even though it might not seem like it, making your own decisions can help you become more confident and learn to depend on yourself more.
Action step: Next time you’re faced with a decision that you’re capable of making alone and your first instinct is to go to someone else for advice, stop yourself. Think about the options and come up with a decision by yourself. Make a good, old-fashioned pros and cons list if you need to!
– Learn to lean on yourself.
When we’re emotional, we usually tend to look to others for comfort. But if you truly want to be independent, learn to lean on yourself. If you’re upset, learn to self-soothe. A great way to learn to be comfortable with ourselves and test our independence is to figure out whether we can be there for ourselves and to learn that we are enough; we don’t need anyone else.
Action step: Take a look at this post (from Self-Love U) and learn how to self-soothe. Practice soothing yourself when you’re upset. It’s okay if you still need to lean on someone else at first, just make sure you keep practicing self-soothing techniques anyway.
– Step out of that comfort zone.
If you really want to take control of your life and be independent, do things that scare you. Step out of your comfort zone, learn how to face your fears, and make yourself uncomfortable sometimes. When you’re doing something that intimidates you, avoid that feeling that you should back away. It doesn’t have to be huge things all the time either; work with smaller steps first. Example: If you want a raise but the thought of asking your boss for one makes you queasy, be assertive and ask them for it anyway.
Action step: Take a look at this list (from Hey Kendra) of 100+ ways to step out of your comfort zone. Try to do one of these things within the next week. And make it a habit to regularly do small things that allow you to step out of your comfort zone.
You might like: Overcome Your Fears: 7 Ways to Step Out of Your Comfort Zone
– Regularly spend time alone.
If you want to be independent, spending time alone (and enjoying it) is an essential step. You’ve got to learn to be comfortable with yourself and realize that you’re all you need. This is an easy one for me because I’m definitely more of an introvert, but some people are scared to be alone. I’m not saying that you can’t ever spend time with other people, I’m just saying you should also learn to enjoy time by yourself and not feel uncomfortable with it.
Action step: Try to set aside one night a month (or more!) to have a date-night by yourself. You could do things like take yourself out to eat, go to the movies alone, spend a night pampering yourself, binge-watch your favorite shows on Netflix, whatever you want! Do something that you enjoy doing because this will make it easier if you’re not used to being alone.
You might like: Me-Time: 26 Fun Things to Do Alone
– Use setbacks as an opportunity to grow.
Next time something negative happens to you, use it as a learning experience or an opportunity for self-growth or positive change. For example, let’s say you lose your job. Take some time to sulk about it, then change your attitude. Is there some other career path you’ve always wanted to take? Then use this as an experience to pursue it. Being independent means being able to get back up when we fall down and allowing failure to help us grow.
– Stop blaming other people.
If you want to own your life, you’ve got to own it all. Everyone has experienced being treated wrong by someone; everyone has. But nobody’s perfect and we all make mistakes. I know you might have gone through something horrible because of someone else and trust me, I get that. But the bottom line is, it’s your life. How you deal with problems is your responsibility. Chances are if someone hurt you in some way, they probably don’t care about helping you clean up the mess they made. So if you want to be independent and in control, you’ve got to stop blaming other people for your problems and start trying to find ways to deal with them yourself.
Action step: If you’re holding onto hurt from the past, learn how to forgive the person who wronged you. Once you’ve finally forgiven them, figure out how to fix all of the things that they did wrong. As you move on with life, accept that you can’t control what other people do to you, but you can control how you react to what they do and you’re responsible for your own life – that’s something that no one can take from you.
You might like: 5 Reasons Why You Need to Let Go of Hurt from The Past