If anyone else out there is tired of holding yourself back from the world for fear of what other people think, I hope this helps you in some way. <3
I want to start off by saying my experience with this. I’m an extremely sensitive person, and I’m pretty meek. Having other people like me used to matter so much to me. For most of my life, this was something that I struggled with, badly. It would honestly bring me to tears if someone was mean to me or didn’t like me. Over the past year-ish, I’ve come out of my shell more and I’ve learned to brush off the opinions of others easier than I used to be able to. I mean, I know who I am, and that’s enough for me. But it was a rough road getting to this point.
From a very young age, a lot of us have this belief instilled in us that it’s important to have others think highly of us. That other people’s opinion of us matters more than being ourselves. And I think we can all agree that this is kind of ridiculous, right? We live in a world where we’re supposed to be like “everyone else” (whoever that is) or something is wrong with us. Let’s just say that we live in a very judgmental world.
I know that my appearance, personality, opinions, thoughts, and beliefs are nothing to be ashamed of. I’m very open-minded about people who disagree with my views and if people can’t accept me for who I am, that’s on them. I wish everyone felt this way about themselves because there wouldn’t be so many problems with lack of confidence or low self-esteem.
Because in the end, why does it matter what other people think of you? Would you rather live a life of “what-ifs” because you’re scared of what other people think, or would you rather live an awesome life full of joy despite what other people think? Would you rather be unhappy, chasing the approval of others or would you rather be happy, knowing that you approve of yourself?
And really, if people are going to openly judge you or make fun of you for something, it says a lot more about them than it does about you. Because honestly? They have to be super unhappy with themselves to even care that much about what you’re doing when it has no real affect on them.
But how can you stop caring so much what others think, you ask?
Well, that’s what I wanted to talk about today. I want to share 8 tips that I’ve learned to stop caring about what people think, and these are all things that I try to live by!Would you rather be unhappy, chasing the approval of others or would you rather be happy, knowing that you approve of yourself? Click To Tweet
1. Try to understand that you can’t control what people think of you
I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again. It’s important to try to understand that there are always going to be people who don’t like you. And you can’t control that. Everyone has judgments and opinions about people and no matter how great you are, you can’t please everyone. It’s a sad truth, but it will always be that way. We all have different energies, different interests, different values, and different personalities. We’re all unique and sometimes you’re just not someone’s cup of tea. It doesn’t have to be personal. But even if it is, you can’t control it anyway.
2. Stop thinking that you can read people’s minds
This is always a big problem for me. I assume that people don’t like me sometimes, only to find out that it’s not true. That’s not cool, though. How can you really be sure that someone doesn’t like you, or that someone is going to judge you? You can’t read minds, so it’s good to always try to be open-minded about other people’s opinions of you or you’re just going to make yourself feel bad for no reason.
3. Remind yourself that people probably don’t really care what you’re doing
A lot of times, we put way more importance on other’s opinions than we need to because of the simple fact that they don’t think as much about us as we think they do. Most people aren’t critiquing everything we do, as much as we might trick ourselves into thinking they do. It’s usually just us being self-conscious and maybe even a little bit paranoid. Honestly, this is probably the biggest reason why you shouldn’t care!
4. Realize that focusing on other people’s opinions is getting in your way
Sometimes worrying too much about the opinions of us keeps us from doing things that would’ve been good for us. Sometimes we turn down amazing opportunities or don’t go after things that we want because we worry that people will judge us, laugh at us, or think badly of us for it. For example, when I first started this blog, I almost deleted it because I was scared that people would make fun of me. But now I’m so happy that I didn’t because it’s helped me chase my dreams and grow so much!
5. Ask yourself why it matters so much
Next time you’re getting worked up about what someone thinks of you, stop and ask yourself why it really matters. What’s the worst thing that could happen if so-and-so doesn’t like you? Why is it important if someone judged you or laughed at you? It’s not the end of the world, and the worst that could happen is exactly what happened – someone doesn’t like you. So what? Your feelings might be hurt for a while, but you’ll move on. And you’re amazing, so it’s their problem anyway!
6. Work on your own self-acceptance + self-love
I would guess that the reason anyone cares about what people think of them is because they’re insecure about themselves. If you’re truly comfortable with yourself and you’re truly confident, it’ll matter less and less what others think because you know you rock. So work on yourself, work on “finding” yourself, and work on loving yourself. Focus on your dreams, your goals, and your interests. Be true to yourself and learn to love yourself the way you are – you’ll be so much happier!
7. Pay attention to the people who matter most to you
Only focus on the important people in your life. The people closest to you know the most about you and they love you so that says something, right? So their opinion of you should be the only opinion that really matters to you. Listen to what they say when they tell you you’re funny, smart, pretty, kind, etc. This is who you really are! And if someone doesn’t really matter to you, then why should you actually care about their opinion of you?
8. Realize that there are way more important things to focus on
When I was younger, I worried so much about what people thought of me. Like, I was almost paranoid about it. When I think about all the stuff I missed out on, all the stuff I was too scared to do, and all the unnecessary stress I put on myself – I realize how silly it was. But the more stuff I went through in life and the more I experienced, the more I came to learn that there are more important things to focus on! We have our families, our friends, our jobs, our hobbies, our passions, our health, and more. In the grand scheme of things, it’s so unimportant to stress about what other people think of you.
How do YOU deal with the negative opinions of others?